The Ball and The Skeleton
by TheBurningNight
Summary: When Skulduggery and Valkyrie are invited to a ball in New York, they find themselves amongst Shadowhunters, Werewolves, Warlocks and *shudder* vampires. While Skulduggery helps out the adults, Valkyrie is left to make friends with another teenagers...
1. Are we there yet?

**Chapter One: Are we there yet? **

"I don't see why we have to go." Valkyrie asked, pouting as a thin man drove.

"Because we were _invited,_" Said Skulduggery as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "We _have _to go."

The young girl looked at her partner with a sceptical glare, as if trying to figure out if it was indeed her friend inhabiting this body. "Hello?" She called, thumping a hand on her friend's skull, "We never go," She paused, "Ever."

"It's a ball," Skulduggery cried, "You know, like a dance, don't teenagers like dances?"

"Some teenagers." Valkyrie muttered.

And of course, some teenagers did. The teenagers who liked to put on more make-up than clothes. But, fortunately, Valkyrie Cain was most defiantly not one of those girls. She was more the type of girl who wore black, killed baddies, and whose best friend was a living skeleton.

And she loved it.

Even if Valkyrie did not have the most conventional of lives she was happy, simply because she felt alive, which was ironic considered the present company. She wriggled in her black dress, which was far too tight for her liking. "Why isn't China coming?"

She saw Skulduggery's grip tighten on the steering wheel. His black gloves tightening, allowing his knuckles to show. "Because she wasn't invited," he snapped his face to look at Valkyrie, "Must you insist on acting like a three year old?"

"Yes." She answered bluntly.

Skulduggery took a turn sharper than necessary, sending Valkyrie into the car door. She cursed and rubbed her shoulder regretfully. She shot the skeleton a sharp glare. "What was that for?"

"Talking."

"You talk all the time." She protested.

"I'm allowed to talk."

"Why?"

"Because," he replied, "I'm cool." Valkyrie snorted.

"You," She pointed at him, "Are not 'cool'"

Skulduggery reached in to a pocket, pulled out his revolver and pointed it at her head in one smooth movement. "Now am I cool?" He asked her, his eyes still on the road.

"Yes." She told him steadily, her eyes on the barrel of the gun. Skulduggery tossed the revolver into the back seat. "Relax," he told her, "It's not loaded."

Valkyrie glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn't in the happiest of moods. Her dress nearly reached her ankles and her heels did not offer her the best support. If twigs could offer support. It was times like these when she missed her Bespoke made fighting clothes.

"It's unfair." Valkyrie stated out loud.

"Yes," Skulduggery said, "Extremely so."

"You don't even know what I'm talking about."

"Of course I do," Skulduggery continued, "You were simply referring to the fact that we have to drive 180 miles to _their _function in which _we _were _invited _to. If you ask me those people need to look up the definition of _invite _because it is to our effort that we have to go to their tedious event."

"No," She said slowly, "That's not was I was to referring at all."

"Oh," Skulduggery said, "Well it's unfair all the same."

"I meant that you still get to wear your suit, and _I _have to wear a dress."

"Suits are proper dress attire for a formal function," Skulduggery lectured, "Ghastly's fighting clothes, are not."

"But still," Valkyrie insisted, "A dress, Skulduggery, a _dress_."

"Oh whoop," Skulduggery rattled off, "Live with it."

At that comment, Valkyrie settled into an annoyed silence. She gazed out the window, watching the claim night had made on the surrounding trees. There weren't any other cars on the highway, and she could hardly see the moon in the cloudy skies. It made her shiver when she thought of the type of creatures that came out at night.

"Cold?" Skulduggery asked, "I told you to bring a jacket."

"Are hoodies appropriate attire to wear to a formal function?" Valkyrie asked, mocking his earlier words, "Because that's the only jacket I had."

"Useless," Skulduggery muttered, "My sidekick is useless."

"It's just a jacket," she complained, "It's not like I made you lose a leg or anything."

"You've made me annoyed," The skeleton man sulked, "That's close enough."

"I hate you sometimes." Valkyrie admitted.

"I know," Skulduggery replied, "Everyone does."


	2. Pleasant Faces

**Chapter Two: Pleasant Faces**

The hall looked like fairy lights had been scattered around the ceiling. Even though this was by accident, without artistic forethought, it still created a nice effect. A testimony, Clary reflected, on just how skilled they really were.

Jace was manning the food station. He lent against one of the long tables that stretched across the hall, looking handsome in a simple black shirt and dress pants. She sighed and fidgeted uncomfortably in the gold cocktail dress she was wearing. It was one of Isabelle's from when she was younger, but it was still big on her. Isabelle practically attacked with safety pins to keep it from falling down. Yet still, Clary found herself frequently pulling it up.

She didn't see the point to this function. It was meant to celebrate the accords, sure, but why? Shadowhunters and Downworlders hated each other anyway. She could only foresee disaster happening. But still, it was fun to prepare, to decorate. She could do without the dress, though.

A loud, shrill voice pierced Clary's ears and she turned slightly to see a very annoyed Isabelle yelling at a caught-red-handed Jace. In his slim fingers he held a single pastry, poised near his mouth. Although, by the looks of Isabelle's avid and irate hand movements, Jace wasn't going to get eat until the guests started arriving. _Which, _Clary thought, glancing at her watch, _Should be soon. _

A sigh brought Clary out of her languid retreat into her imagination. She was leaning against a sharp table that Maryse had set up, it was covered with a table cloth shrouded with gold runes. It was beautiful. Clary could recognise the runes for prosperity, joy and luck. She imagined the person decorating the cloth, their swooping, graceful movement as they traced the lines in the material.

"Earth to Clary? Have you completely ditched this world for some surreal dimension? If you did, I hope there are demons in there. You deserve some scary monsters for ignoring me."

Clary turned to see Isabelle leaning next to her, the tops of her thighs showing in her tight, black dress. She looked stunning, as usual. Her hair looked elegant and sophisticated in her the complicated twist it was styled in. Distastefully, Clary flicked a strand of curly red hair off her shoulder.

"Is that dress really appropriate?" She asked Isabelle doubtfully, "Isn't this supposed to be a formal function?"

Isabelle snickered. "What gave it away? The fact that Mom has been a total pill all day? Or that Alec is actually wearing a suit?"

Clary looked towards Alec, who was, indeed, wearing a sharp black suit. He was sitting at one of the many tables scattered around the hall, talking to an annoyed looking Jace. Clary stomach did an impressive acrobatics routine at the sight of her (she could finally say it) boyfriend. He looked endearingly handsome, in his own black suit and tie. His eyes looked incredibly golden it the light of hall.

"All of the above." Clary answered eyes still on Jace.

"Oh God." Isabelle commented, seeing Clary gazing at Jace, "Please do not go all 'star struck lover' on me. I will go hang myself. Seriously, Clary. Quit with fawning."

Clary felt red rush up to her cheeks and embarrassment gather in her stomach. "I was _not _fawning over him." She muttered.

"Oh yes you were." Isabelle reputed, her eyes widening, "You had the whole Romeo and Juliet thing going on."

Clary watched as Jace smiled and two dimples appeared in his cheeks and thought that maybe she was fawning. "Is Simon coming?" She asked Izzy, hurriedly changing subjects.

"Yeah." Isabelle said with a note of sarcasm, "Simon is totally coming. Assuming he can get over the consecrated ground that this very room is built over."

"I just thought," Clary muttered, "That considering this is a ball meant to celebrate the accords, _all _Downworlders would be invited."

Isabelle laughed. "They are. Do you see that room over there?" Isabelle indicated a section of tabled draped in black cloth. Clary nodded. "They're for the vampires to sit. There is an entrance round the back."

Clary smiled. "So Simon is coming?"

"I guess." Isabelle said with a shrug of her shoulders.

Clary couldn't help but wondering at Izzy's answer. She was meant to be going out with Simon, shouldn't she care if he was coming or not? Clary internal wondering was interrupted by a loud shriek coming from Jace. She looked over to see him standing with his arms splayed, a look of horror on his face. There was a dark stain on Jace's white shirt, spreading and expanding over his chest. Clary furrowed her brows in confusion. _Why was Jace covered in Liquid? _

"I warned you." Clary heard Alec say. She turned around to see the dark haired boy sitting down, calmly holding an empty glass in his hands. "And you didn't take me seriously. Look where that got you."

Clary saw Isabelle roll her eyes. Clary thought that they both should get over there before Jace was covered in more liquid, or someone was beheaded with the chandelier.

Clary sighed. Shadowhunters just weren't made for waiting around.

oOo

"Vampires?" Valkyrie asked, inspecting the invite in her hands, "There are vampires coming? Why didn't anyone tell me this?"

Skulduggery was taking large steps in front of her and she had to hurry to keep up. It was a dark street that was only lit with the occasional working street lamp and she looked like a walking target for creeps in the stupid dress. Skulduggery would serve as a good deterrent.

"Vampires?" Skulduggery asked in a terrible imitation of surprised, "This is an outrage. I specifically asked them if they were inviting those treacherous creatures and they said no! Oh, the betrayal."

Skulduggery clutched one bony hand to his chest as if the sting of this so called 'betrayal' had hurt him physically. Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

"Thespian." She said, "You should consider a career in acting."

Skulduggery's hand returned to his pocket. "Yes." He said, nodding his head enthusiastically, "I should. I could star in a movie about my life."

Valkyrie was starting to regret bringing this up. "I was kidding." She said, "See? Ha. Ha. Joke. Joke."

"It would be amazing," Skulduggery continued, oblivious to Valkyrie, "A series of films starring me. The one and only, Skulduggery Pleasant."

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie said with a bit more force, "I was joking. Stop."

He didn't. "They would be called things like 'Skulduggery Pleasant: Skeleton Detective.' Or 'Skulduggery Pleasant: The Faceless Ones.' It'd be remarkable."

"You're an idiot." Valkyrie muttered.

"So quick to judge." Skulduggery said, a smile in his voice.

It was silent after that. Skulduggery was probably planning his debut to the acting industry.

There wasn't many people out on the streets. Valkyrie thought that there would be more people than the lone late night jogger or shift worker out at night in New York. They passed the occasional Night Club with lines of people queued outside the doors. Big, burly bouncers were guarding the entrance. Lines of shops framed the streets, some offering exotic spices and others selling cheap books. They rounded a corner and passed a decaying brick building that was hiding in the shadows. There were a bunch of motorbikes cluttered to the corner of the building. Valkyrie thought that this was a very odd structure. For starters, all the doors and windows were bricked up.

"Hotel Demont." Valkyrie read the sign hanging near the side. "Hmmm."

"Hotel _Demort_." Skulduggery corrected, including the clumsy alteration made with red spray paint, "It's French. It means Hotel of Death."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes. It was probably just some over dramatic teenagers trying to scare people off with cheap tricks. She made to keep walking but to her surprise Skulduggery had stopped, his head cocked in thought. Reluctantly, Valkyrie halted.

"What?" She asked Skulduggery, her arms splayed at her sides.

"Nothing." Skulduggery muttered, "It's just…"

He trailed off, moving towards the abandoned building. Valkyrie watched him go with frustration. They were meant to be attending a ball, not exploring some overrated spooky hotel. This was just typical. Skulduggery takes her out somewhere nice, and they end up getting dirty and grumpy. She stomped in her strapy heels over to where Skulduggery was standing, facing a very solid brick wall. He touched a splayed hand to the surface. Removing it, he flicked dust off his fingers.

"Interesting." He said.

Valkyrie didn't have time to wonder what was, in fact, interesting, for it was at that moment a figure appeared from the shadows.

"Excuse me." A voice said.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery both jumped, startled by the sudden interruption. Valkyrie nearly broke an ankle trying to stay upright in her heels. They both turned around in unison, ready to face trouble.

Instead, they faced a young boy wearing a thin white shirt and black slacks. Harmless.

"Hello." Skulduggery said, tapping his collar bone and sending façade shimmering over his skull.

"_Hola._" Greeted the boy, "Can I help you?"

They boy had intent dark eyes that were watching her and Skulduggery, his pupils weren't dilated, as if his eyes didn't have to adjust much to the dark.

"Yes," Skulduggery said cheerfully, "We are here from Ireland, tourists you see. And we just wanted to take a more unorthodox tour of New York. Is there an entrance here somewhere?"

It was very clear from the boy's expression that he did not believe a word Skulduggery had said.

"No, _senor. _This place is _nocivo_, dangerous."

Skulduggery fake lips smiled, stretching over his waxy skin. "Perfect. Just what we were looking for."

The boy shook his head, sending dark curly hair over his shoulder. "This is not the place you wish to see. It is abandoned. There is nothing here."

Skulduggery hummed and adjusted the rim of his hat. "You're lying." He stated bluntly. Valkyrie watched as the boy narrowed his eyes. There was something about him, like he was hiding something. "There were hand prints on the side of the building. Recent handprints. Also footprints in the dirt," Skulduggery motioned to their feet and Valkyrie saw what he was indicating. To sets of footprints that weren't theirs. They looked like they were made by a pair of boots and sneakers. "So you either tell us what inhabits here, _senor_, or we find out anyway."

The boy pursed his lips, debating whether he should tell them. He didn't look any older than 14, Valkyrie thought, pretty young. Only barely a teenager. He was slight and had pale skin and dark eyes. He was good looking, Valkyrie could admit that.

"There are monsters." They boy finally admitted, "That is who lives there. _C__riaturas de la__oscuridad_."

"Excellent." Skulduggery said with glee. "I love a good monster."

"No." Spoke the boy forcefully, "My brother went in there and did not come out. _No one _comes out."

"Your brother went in there?" Skulduggery asked, pouncing on, in Valkyrie's opinion, the wrong part of that sentence. "So there _is _an entrance. Where?"

The boy frowned. "_Senor, _you do not understand. You will die."

"That's never stopped me before."

"You have a little girl with you!" The boy protested.

"Hey!" Valkyrie argued, annoyed at being classified as 'little', "I'm older than you, bucko."

The boy looked torn. Valkyrie silently urged for him to tell them where the entrance was.

"Fine." They boy said. "I will show you. But only if I can come."

Valkyrie looked doubtfully at the boy. He would only be a dead weight, something to slow them down. It was unlikely that Skulduggery would agree.

"Sure." Skulduggery agreed, "Fine with me."

Valkyrie sent Skulduggery her most venomous glare.

"I am Raphael." Said the boy, "Who are you?"

Skulduggery indicated to himself. "I'm Skulduggery."

"And I'm Valkyrie." Valkyrie told Raphael.

"Nice to meet you." He acknowledged. "Now follow me and be careful"

Skulduggery smiled. "I always am."

oOo

The hall was filled with people. There were people in every nook and crevasse. Warlocks, Vampires, Shadowhunters, werewolves…everything you could possibly imagine filled the room. The fey were sipping from leaves, or on the dance floor. Clary could see Magnus twirling a reluctant Alec around. Jace was standing next to her, his hand in hers. Simon was frowning amongst the other vampires. Izzy was talking to some warlock Clary didn't know. To her surprise, Maryse came up to her in a white dress.

"Well that's everyone." Maryse announced, looking down at a list in her hands, "Besides a Mr S. Pleasant and a Miss V. Cain." The older woman frowned at the list, as if it had personally offended her. "Where do you think they are?"

"Umm…" Said Clary, not sure what to say.

"Dunno." Replied Jace around a mouth full of food. "Maybe they got lost."

Maryse looked worriedly towards the door. "Maybe." She sighed.

oOo

"VAMPIRES." Screeched Valkyrie whilst running down a flight of stairs. "VAMPIRES, Skulduggery, VAMPIRES."

"I know." Said Skulduggery, shooting a stream of fire into the faces of the crowd of vampires that were following them.

"I hate vampires." Valkyrie replied, using air to hurtle herself down the last steps.

"Now, now," Skulduggery scolded, "We all have bad experiences. Doesn't mean we have to judge the whole lot."

Valkyrie stared at the man is disbelief. "Skulduggery," She said, "These vampires are trying to kill us."

"Yes," He replied, "I know. I'm just saying that having a judgmental attitude towards are particular grouping of people can sometimes be detrimental to~"

"SKULDUGGERY," Valkyrie yelled, "SHUT UP."

"Okay, okay." Skulduggery said, hurling more fire, "I get it. Focus on getting out, stop talking, blah, blah,"

"If we live through this," Valkyrie breathed, glancing behind her at the approaching vampires, "I swear, I am going to kill you."

oOo

There was a knock on the door and Maryse breathed out a sigh.

"That must be them." She informed Clary.

Jace started to follow Maryse down the corridor to the entrance. Not wanting to be left behind, Clary did the same. It wasn't a long walk to the front doors, but Clary's feet were hurting from her shoes. It was like each step she took sent a sharp piece of glass into her heels.

Just before Maryse opened the door, she made sure she was presentable. She was, of course, immaculate, much like her daughter. There wasn't a single unwanted create in her dress. She made Clary feel very shabby in her oversized dress.

"Okay," Maryse said, "Pleasant faces on."

Clary hastily rearranged her mouth into a smile and saw Jace do the same. Maryse glanced at them to make sure they looked respectable.

"Right," Maryse breathed to herself. Her slim, scarred hands turned the glass nobs on the door, turning them each clockwise. "Hello," Maryse greeted as she swung open the door. When she saw the two people standing outside her words dried in her mouth.

There was a tall and incredibly thin man in a ragged suit, he was the first thing Clary noticed. His jacket looked like it was ripped apart by claws and there were scorch marks on his white gloves. His dark hair was a birds nest under his sagging hat. He grinning manically at them. Next to him was a girl who looked a little older than Clary. Her black dress had a massive split at the side and one of the heels of her shoes had snapped. A splash of blood coloured her ankle. They looked like they had been in some kind of gang fight, then processed through a blender.

"Hello!," Replied the tall man cheerfully, "I am Skulduggery Pleasant and this is Valkyrie Cain. Sorry we're a little late. We ran into some trouble. But, don't worry, we took care of it.


	3. Certain Understatements

**Chapter 3: Certain Understatements **

"Yeah, sure, Jace," Izzy was saying to her adoptive brother, "I _totally _believe you."

Jace, who had a finely tuned sarcasm sense that he was very proud of, could tell that the lioness Isabelle Lightwood was in her natural state of _not _believing him.

"It's true I tell you!," He exclaimed, "The missing guests showed up and they looked like they'd been attacked by a ravenour demon."

And they had, Jace could remember the tall, thin man with the shredded suit and the dark haired girl with the broken shoes. They weren't what he'd been used to as dinner guests, as most of the Nephlim and Downworlders that had been welcomed to the party were dressed to immaculate perfection. Something was most definitely up. And Jace wanted to find out.

"_And,"_ He added in a conspiring whisper, "I swear the guy was wearing a glamour."

"A glamour?," Isabelle said with a perfect drop of her red coloured lips, "Maybe _he _was the ravenour demon!"

Jace could recognise her look of mock-shock from the thousands of times she had used it on him and any other unfortunate boys that had messed with her. He would have walked off right then, but he needed Isabelle's help to unearth the secret of the two mysterious guests. Otherwise he'd have to go and beg Alec, who was currently occupied with Magnus Bane, and he really didn't feel like dealing with their infatuation with each other right now.

"Don't be stupid, Iz," He said, lifting his shirt off his chest from where it still stuck to him from the water Alec threw at him, "Ravenours can't glamour."

"Nah, really?" Isabelle said, and Jace's sarcasm sense tingled, "Consider me educated."

Jace scowled. Isabelle could be very difficult to persuade and had a stubborn streak that stretched for miles. It was probably so long that if he tried to run it, he would be a bag of bones before he reached the end.

"By the Angel," He told the ceiling as he looked up in frustration, "Stop being so difficult."

"Stop lying," Izzy said as she crossed her arms, "And I will."

They were standing near one of the many food tables that stretched across the hall. They were situated at the edge of the room so they could see mostly the entire space. It was the perfect spot for people watching or, as Jace liked to call it, spying.

"Fine," He huffed, "If I can prove to you that there is something up with Mr Pleasant and Miss Cain, you have announce your apology to the whole hall during the speeches."

Isabelle looked at him with a calculating glance. Her dark eyes studied him with intensity that would have made anyone else uncomfortable. He waited for her to make her decision.

"Those are the speeches to honour the accords," Izzy stated, "If I say something that idiotic in the middle of them, Mum will put my head on a spike at the front of the institute."

Jace could see the cogs of his plan turning in motion. She just needed a little more pushing.

"Is the great Lady Isabelle is scared?," Jace teased, "Or worse, does she think that she's wrong?"

"Neither." Izzy answered with a frown. She leant against the table with the towering punch fountain. Her dress was so tight, that her crossed arms threatened to split the sides of the expensive material, "I just don't want to be responsible for ruining the night."

"That's rather considerate of you," He commented, "Especially since last night you kicked that poor pregnant women out of her seat on the subway because your feet were sore."

Isabelle flicked a strand of dark hair off her exposed shoulder and pulled her mouth into a pout.

"She wasn't in labour," She muttered to the floor, "I don't see why _she _gets special priority."

"Uh, because she's carrying a baby," He announced to Isabelle, joining her to lean on the punch table, "And besides, you've changed the topic."

Before Isabelle could answer, a werewolf with an empty glass moved between them to get a refill. He gave Izzy a look Jace didn't think was entirely like when he walked away. He was just relieved that Alec wasn't there to witness it. Isabelle watched the man walk away with narrowed eyes.

"That was creepy." She said after the werewolf was out of earshot.

"You know, only a little." He agreed, "But look at that! Again you have managed to divert the conversational train."

"Shut up, Jace, I didn't divert any stupid trains. I answered you're question so that means the conversation is over, kay?"

He couldn't let Izzy slip away. It wouldn't be fun to figure out the answer without a wager on the line. If he could prove to Izzy that Pleasant and Cain weren't all they seemed, he could have the golden prize of Isabelle embarrassing herself.

"Come on, Iz," He put on his most tempting smile- which was, if he said so himself, pretty god damn irresistible, "Aren't you curious? Don't you want to have a little fun?"

Jace knew that appealing to Isabelle's hatred of boredom and love of adventure would be the best angle to take. It wouldn't be too hard to push his adoptive sister's buttons, considering he knew exactly where to push.

"Don't tell me," Jace said, knowing he nearly had her, "You're not turning into _Alec_ are you? Ignoring the problem because of the risk?"

Jace saw her face tense and she wound her pale arms tighter. It was like Isabelle was a spring, and she was being compressed by two fingers squishing her down.

"Fine," She finally, "You win. But if you don't succeed in your endeavour, you have to…"

He voice trailed off and her expression grew devious. Jace suddenly had an epiphany of how _not _a good idea this was.

Izzy broke into a grin. Which was not a good sign. "You have to kiss Magnus. Full on. On the mouth."

With no small amount of apprehension, Jace looked over at the sparkly warlock, who was sitting down at one of the tables next to Alec, laughing and smiling and looking generally oblivious to the fact that he might be kissed by a (extremely handsome) member of the crowd.

Shaking his head, Jace grabbed Izzy's hand and shook it.

"Deal."

Valkyrie had used a wad of napkins to clean up the blood on her ankle, which was fine, because her ankle was no longer covered in red. But, she now had a bunch of blood soaked napkins in her hand and nowhere to put them. She couldn't just walk around with bloody napkins in her hands; she'd look like a psychopath. Besides, God knows how many hands she would have to shake by the end of the night and she couldn't ask them to hold her napkins FILLED with BLOOD. She could just imagine the conversation.

_Skulman: Valkyrie, meet this extremely pompous and stuck up person whom I don't even like, but I pretend to get along with them because they're important. _

_Extremely-Pompous-and-Stuck-Up-Person-whom-Skulduggery-Doesn't-Even-Like: Hello Valkyrie. Nice to meet you. (Holds out hand and extends to shake.) _

_Valkyrie: Hang on, I have to give my napkins of blood to Skulduggery so I can shake your hand. Don't mind us. _

_Skulman: I don't want to hold that! That's disgusting!_

_Valkyrie: Oh, shush, you. It's not like you haven't seen worse. _

_Extremely-Pompous-and-Stuck-Up-Person-whom-Skulduggery-Doesn't-Even-Like: Oh. I have to, er, go…_

That _so _wasn't going to happen. Not if she could help it. She just had to find a bin and she'd be fine.

She cast a glance around the hall to see anything that looked like it was a disposable container. There was some fairy (Valkyrie hadn't believed Skulduggery when he first told her they existed) drink a rather large glass of something neon yellow, a person in a black suite covered in marks (Shadowhunters, as Skulduggery had called them) dancing with a women in white, and some sorcerer dude with cat's eyes twirling a remarkably _un_willing dance partner around the floor. But no bloody bins. She'd have to find Skulduggery and slip them in his pockets or something.

"Hi."

Valkyrie turned to see a blonde teenager standing in front of her with a tall black haired girl behind him. The boy had a very wide and toothy smile plastered on his face.

"Hi." She answered back, turning around in her plastic chair so she could face them. She blinked at them and hopped that they'd go away soon. They didn't look like the most deep and interesting people around.

The blonde boy was in the middle of opening his when the girl interrupted, very loudly with a question.

"What have you got in your hands? _Wait. _Is that blood? Are carrying around napkins filled with _blood?_"

"_Izzy!_" The boy hissed with a look of utter contempt.

It was then Valkyrie realised that she had her napkins-of-blood held in her hands in easy view. It was like she wanted people to notice them, dammit.

"Yeah," Valkyrie said with a fake sob, "It's my Mum's, she died and I wanted to keep something to remember her by."

She already had her own blood cradled in her hands, why not make them think she was even more insane?

"So you chose her blood?" 'Izzy' asked with a raised black eyebrow and her mouth sucked into a frown, "That sick."

The boy just shrugged. "Just don't go into the vampire territory; then you'd be dinner."

"I can handle myself, thanks. And don't speak about vampires." She was starting to really dislike these two people. They were obnoxious and she wished she could punch the blonde one in the nose.

"Why not?," Said the blonde one, "Don't you like them?"

The boy's nose was right in the middle of his face, it even had a little tip at the end, like it was just inviting her to sock him.

"No, actually, I love it when I get teethed in the neck. It gives me an adrenalin rush."

The blonde one smiled in amusement, "Whatever floats your boat."

Valkyrie did not find that even remotely funny. "It was sarcasm, genius. Or has that word got too many syllables?"

Izzy let out a small laugh and rolled her eyes. "Jace knows what sarcasm is, all right. In fact, I don't think he knows another way of speaking." Izzy glanced to the side in a bored manner, the she looked at 'Jace' with eyes focused on her immaculate nails, "Look, she's not gonna tell you anything. Just go kiss Magnus already."

Before Valkyrie even had _time _to wonder, who Magnus was and what she was meant to tell them, a short red headed girl bounded up to them.

"So I heard 'kiss' and 'Magnus'. What's up?" Valkyrie was now beginning to be crowded by teenagers, which was not a good development. Not to mention she was still holding the napkins, which were becoming soggy and gross.

"Clary," Jace said as he draped an arm very comfortably around the girl's shoulder, "Hey. What a sudden appearance."

The girl (Clary- - wow, she was learning so many new names) did not look pleased or distracted by Jace's charming tone. However, she did give Valkyrie a very dirty look, as if she was a threat to her status as, presumably, girlfriend.

"Not even close to answering what I asked." Clary lamented with a sad shake of her head, "Izzy _did _tell me I should get you trained."

At this Jace's eyes became sauces, and his moth dropped like it was an anchor. Valkyrie watched with a bored amusement as the annoying blonde boy looked at Izzy, who merely just surveyed him with a bored glance.

"_Train _me?" He spluttered, looking like one of the dopey cartoon's Valkyrie's baby sister watched, "Like a dog?"

"Every baby needs to be potty trained, Jace." Izzy said in such a matter-of-fact tone that Valkyrie wasn't sure if she was being serious, "Just like every boy needs to be girlfriend trained. I'll tell you, some of the morons that I've dated. This one guy~"

"Spare me the anecdote," Jace interrupted before Valkyrie could. She didn't want to hear this girl's sad, pathetic excuse for an entertaining story. Especially if just used it so she could demonstrate her superiority, "If you were just going to complain about Marcus…"

"He was _disgusting_. You should have met him, Jace. His breath spelt like dog."

Valkyrie couldn't help wondering, with the way these two bickered, if they were brother and sister. They didn't look alike, what with one golden angel (did she say angel? She meant devil. Yeah, devil.) and one charcoal super model, the could be complete opposites.

"Well he was a werewolf. There not exactly known for being minty fresh."

Valkyrie was starting to think that they had forgotten she was there. Which was probably a good thing, with her bloody napkins and all, so she made to get up but was pulled back by the gravity of Izzy' s voice.

"Speaking of minty fresh," Izzy dragged 'fresh' out like it was a rubber band, "Kiss. Magnus. Now."

At the tortured look on Jace's face, Valkyrie knew that she had to stay. She wasn't going to miss this guy embarrassing himself for the world.

Alec was starting to get to the point in this evening's event where he was absolutely not enjoying himself. He could handle the first hour or so, but now? Now his feet where getting cramped in grossly undersized shoes, everyone's systems were starting to register the alcohol in their system (that reminded him; he needed to keep an eye on Isabelle) and Magnus, after he had persuaded him to finally sit down, had gone into his 'sophisticated social' phase. Right now he was talking to the tall, thin 'Mr Pleasant'. Apparently, they had known each other back in 1888 or something.

"Ah, I still see you've got your natural suave for a good suite, Skulduggery."

"And you're clothing choice is still abysmally inappropriate, nice to see that you're consistent to matter what the era."

At that Magnus gave his beautiful smile (the one that made Alec want to smile too).

"I couldn't help notice that you've brought a girl tonight." Magnus hiked up thin, dark eyebrow. Alec wanted to warn him that he should pry, but it was Magnus and the High Warlock liked to have his fingers in everyone's business.

"Oh, yes, that's Valkyrie. She's a bit of a strange one." Alec looked to see were Magnus was looking and were Skulduggery was angling his head (the guy had so much of his skin and face covered that Alec really couldn't tell). There was a girl sitting at one of the tables with something red in her hands. Unremarkable really. Well, it was until he saw the familiar shine of gold. A small red blob hovered next to him.

_What are they all doing over there? Why is Izzy swaying like that? Is she drunk or dizzy from the lack of circulation that dress offers? _

"-My boyfriend, Alexander."

Alec tuned in to hear Magnus mention his name. He still couldn't tear his eyes off Jace, Izzy and Clary though.

"Alec," He mumbled, "Call me Alec."

"Sure, dear." Magnus cooed with a patronising ruffle of his hair. He would probably have to fix that later, considering the speeches were later, so he managed a scowl of annoyance at Magnus' affections.

"Very loving." Alec could hear Skulduggery saying, "I can see he's really enthralled."

Alec's hand were turning the cutlery around in circles, without his brain's conscience permission. Alec's brain tended to do a lot of thing without his permission, and it got him in a lot of trouble sometimes.

"I don't know, Alexander, why don't you go ask him?"

Alec's hands dropped the cutlery and looked up at Magnus, who was rather like his brain and did things without his permission- like call him Alexander.

"Huh?"

"You asked me what Jace was doing over near Skulduggery's little friend, don't you remember? I swear you're a goldfish sometimes."

Damn. Damn his stupid brain. Of all the aspects of him to be rebellious.

"She's probably annoyed him," Skulduggery answered, but he phrased it like an apology, "Valkyrie tends to have the social grace of a carpet." There was dip in conversation for a second until Skulduggery said, "Oh, how handy. You're friend's coming over here now."

"Go on, Alec," Magnus smirked, "Go ask Jacey-pie why he had strayed from his leash."

He frowned again at Magnus. It wasn't _his _fault he worried.

Alec watched as Jace gracefully picked his way through the throngs of people. He had a very resolved look on his face that was usually followed by something stupid. Alec's stomach sunk at the thought.

"Magnus!" Jace announced when he had arrived, "Mangus, come here."

Magnus, predictably, did not. Alec couldn't help but feel a little hurt at the total disregard of his presence.

"Remember that I am the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Herondale. And I shall not be spoken to like that."

Jace held out his hands to his side in exasperation. "What are you? The bloody Queen? _Come over here._"

Magnus lifted his face into the air delicately. He did have a royal presence about him.

"Well, if it helps, I think you're a massive queen." That was Skulduggery, all of this said in a completely casual tone, as if he making a statement about the weather.

Jace was breathing like he had run a marathon. "Look, I'd usually congratulate you on that. But I have some business to attend to, and you know what they say about ripping a Band-Aid off."

Alec had only a spare few seconds to grapple with confusion about what the _Angel _Jace was on about, before his Parabatai grabbed Magnus by the shoulders, pulled him close to his face, and then crashed his lips into his.

Jace was kissing Magnus, Alec realised with shock.

_Jace, my perfectly straight Parabatai, is kissing my boyfriend. Why?_

"Well," Magnus said after Jace had pulled away with his face scrunched into a twist. His tone suggested that this happened to him every day, "That was unexpected."


End file.
